I live in paradise

with angels

right now.

Matheson Hammock Park, Miami

Some of our favorite activities involve transferring objects from one tray to another.  These activities strengthen finger muscles which are essential for writing.  They also cultivate concentration and practice using tools.  It always amazes me how much attention a child will give such a simple task.

Here Max is using tweezers to transfer puffs from a berry basket to an ice-cube tray.  The twelve spots in the tray motivate him to use precision in a way that a simple bowl to bowl transfer does not.

Today you are four years old which means you have travelled around the sun four times!  It also means that I have been a mother for four years which is fitting because today is Mother’s Day.  When you lived inside my body I thought that you might be born on Mother’s Day, but you weren’t.  You waited until your exact due date two days later.  Because of the timing, your birthday will land on Mother’s Day every so often which is fine by me.  I’ll share any day with you, any day at all.

You were a wonderful three year old!  This is the year that your confidence really shined through.  Up until then people sometimes called you shy, but I always knew the loud, playful part of you.  Now the world does too!  You approach kids on the playground with by smiling and saying, “hi!” or sometimes you just laugh-scream and dare them to chase you.  It’s so beautiful to watch you navigate the world as if you owned it. 

If I had one word to describe you this year, it would be competent.  You can do so many things well: ride a scooter, kick or hit a ball, sing a song (You know so many), peel a carrot, scrub mushrooms, write your name, follow directions, cut with scissors, throw a ball, ride a trike, use the bathroom, eat your vegetables, paint a picture, climb, run fast, balance, jump.  Oh there’s so much more.  You’re good at just about everything.

One of the best parts of this year has been watching you play with Jack.  You are truly best friends.  You create games and worlds that Daddy and I can only marvel at.  Sometimes you fight and we are shocked at how quickly you boys can turn violent.  Luckily, you get along most of the time.  You boys share the same sense of humor, the same interests and now bunk beds.  I am certain that the best gift we will ever give you was your brother.  Before nap each day you put your arms around each other and then you give Jack a brother kiss.  It is my favorite part of everyday.

You have spent a lot of time figuring things out this year.  You ask me lots of questions, especially at meal times, about whatever is on your mind.  The wheels in your brain are so obvious when you’re thinking.  You scunch up your forehead, pause and then nod when something finally makes sense.  You also have ideas of your own and love to share them with me.  If I’m ever too busy or short with you, you get upset.  I have learned to take the time to listen to you.  Your ideas are not only important to you, but also important to me.  Lately you’ve been struggling with understanding how and why some animals eat others and if that makes them good or bad.  Every time you ask a question or make an observation, I see that you put one piece of the puzzle in its place.  It’s not all there yet, but you’re working on it.

Speaking of puzzles reminds me of our activities.  That’s what we call school.  You have learned so much this year.  You’re pretty good with numbers and letters.  You love science and geography!  Never on the face of the earth has there been a three year old so adept at naming the parts of a fungus or listing the traits of living things.  Recently your artwork took a huge leap forward.  You understand how to color in the lines and also how to create a picture from your imagination!  This is important because you used to just scribble and I wondered how you would learn to create art.  It was when you were drawing rainbows at St. Patrick’s Day story-time that you suddenly made the connection.  Something clicked in your brain and from that moment onward it has been amazing to watch you draw.

You also wrote a story.  Not by hand, but you dictated it to me out of the blue.  Here it is:

Once upon a time there was a boy who was walkin’ without his mama.  He went by a bush and behind the bush there was a big, BIG WOLF! And so the boy started runnin.  He run and run and run and RUN!  And then he stopped walkin’ and the wolf ate him.

I love that story!  Even more, I love that you create stories!

This is the year that you became a builder.  Legos, bristle blocks, wooden blocks.  You finally loosened your obsession with trucks enough to see how fun it is to create something.  You like to make barges, tunnels and cranes.

As I write this it sounds so funny, me telling you what you like.  But I am the gatekeeper of your memories and I have no idea how far your mind will stretch back when you are older.  I suppose now that I’m aging and starting to forget things, this act of preservation might be for me too.  But it’s hard to imagine forgetting the best years of my life, which of course, are the ones I’ve spent with you.

Happy birthday my darling boy.

Love,
Mama

This is a repost from last year to help out all the moms and dads.

Let’s face it: mamas are the holiday planners in most families.  We shop, we bake, we plan, we organize, we record, we everything.  The rest of the family bumbles around and sometimes manages to help.  The problem is that when Mother’s Day rolls around, we are not in charge.  People who never plan anything are put in charge and judging by the furious credit card swiping that happens on the day after Mother’s Day, it’s not the most successful celebration.  That’s OK.  I’m here to help.

This is a fool-proof guide to planning the perfect Mother’s Day celebration on any budget.  Every Dad needs to read it and follow it.  Please distribute this checklist widely, even the best dad could probably use a few pointers.

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU CAN DO TO CELEBRATE MOTHER’S DAY IS TO PLAN SOMETHING! 

ANYTHING! 

THE PLANNING PART IS WHAT MATTERS MORE THAN THE ACTUAL PLAN.

The perfect Mother’s Day should include:

1.  A homemade gift from the children 
Many schools will plan this project for you, but if they haven’t, pull out the art supplies and tell the kids get to work.  Obviously babies aren’t capable, but a clay hand impression or even a card that says “mommy” with a traced hand on it will be cherished.  Teenagers can simply write out the reasons they love mom.  You could also take a picture of the kids and frame it.  The point is that it comes from the kids.  

2.  A gift for her as a person, not a mom 
Flowers, jewelry, spa gift certificates are all wonderful.  This can be anything she would like for herself.  It should NOT be something for the home or kitchen unless that is her particular interest.  If you don’t know what the gift should be, her mom, her sister or her best friend knows.  ASK. 

3.  Family time
A planned activity for the family to enjoy together.  This could be a meal you, the kids or a restaurant prepared.  It could be an outing to a park or the movies or a game night.  Anything, as long as she gets to enjoy everyone being together. 

4.  Personal time
Give her a few hours to herself.  A manicure, a gift card for shopping, an arranged lunch with her friends or simply the space to do what she loves (like reading a book in silence) will be greatly appreciated.

5.  Do the grunt work.
If you have babies, you’re changing all the diapers.  If the house is a mess, you’re in change of getting it clean (Hint: delegate to children!)  You are responsible for all meals.  Yes, it’s a pain.  You plan a lovely breakfast, and then you have to make dinner too?  That’s what everyday is like for mama.  Even if you wind up ordering pizza for dinner, that’s alright.  The point is for you to take the initiative to keep the house running for one day.

Regarding Other Mothers

1.  There are other mothers in your life whom you need to celebrate.  If you live near either of your parents, figure out what you are doing for them and when.  If your wife wants to cook dinner for her mom, let everyone know (including your wife) that you are in change of brunch for her.  Make sure that there is one time in the day that is completely devoted to the mother of your children.

An easy way to make this work is to go out to brunch or serve mama breakfast-in-bed, and then have everyone over for a BBQ dinner you prepare.

2.  Whatever you do for other mothers, you need to do greater for the mother of your children.  If you give a single rose to all the women in your family who are mothers, your wife gets a dozen.  If you give them all a dozen, she gets 2 dozen.  The exception to this is your own mother for whom you can get something special, although it should not be greater than your wife’s gift.

That’s it.  That’s all I’ve got.  If you follow my advice you will make the mother of your children very happy and she will be bragging on Monday.  I hope this doesn’t sound condescending.  I know a lot men are wonderful and full of their own ideas.  I just want all dads to be informed about what mamas really want, so you can make it special for her.  By the way: MOTHER’S DAY IS MAY 13th.

To Andres on our 5th wedding anniversary,

The story is you and me became we. 

Today is a day that seems like it should just be the two of us.  That’s what all the experts say.  Make time to date your spouse.  But the us that we became five years ago has grown from a party of two to a party of four.  My heart changed forever when our darling boys were born.  There is not a single part of me that doesn’t include them, not even my love for you.  Just yesterday as I watched you and your two shadows mow our lawn, my heart exploded with joy.  Yours did too.  I know because we exchanged a glance.  No, that’s not true.  I knew what you felt without even looking at you, because I know you.

And so, when the babysitter cancelled and the available options got too complicated, it seemed perfect to take our boys along with us on our anniversary date.  I told them about it and they are excited.  They will wear buttoned-down shirts, but you will have to pick up the tab.  I will be their first date at the place where we shared our first date.

It’s not ideal, but it’s a deal we stuck to make it work.  If nothing else, marriage teaches you how to share, and we have become adept at adapting.  Here’s what else it’s taught me: 

Love is simple. 

It is not complicated or confusing.  (Relationships can be, but not love.)

Love is not divisive.  There is not one love for children.  Another for lovers.  And another for humanity at large. 

Love encompasses all.

Love is something real that I can touch.  A hand.  A cheek.  But love is also something mysterious that I can’t grasp.  Something ephemeral that enters my heart without warning and sometimes catches in my throat, waters my eyes or sends a shiver up my spine.  (Still!)

Love is a choice.  Something to accept.  Something to give.  An invitation and a command to let all else go.

Love is not one thing.

Love is everything.

And to me,

everything is you.

Happy anniversary, my love.  Here’s to another five, fifty, a hundred more!

Yours,
R

Five years ago you celebrated Andres’ and my love when we were married.  Many of you travelled thousands of miles to attend our wedding.  Others overcame the hurdle of the Cuban concept of time and managed to make it to the church in time.  When I walked down the aisle, I was overcome at the sight of all of you, all of that love in one room, which is the reason I smiled ear-to-ear throughout the ceremony.  I had expected to be emotional and solemn, but all I felt when I stepped into the church was joy.

Pure joy.

And it was not just because I was marrying my true love, but because as I walked down that aisle, I was suddenly struck with knowledge that I had always been loved.  Every moment of my life passed in an embrace of love I never fully understood until that moment.

For that, thank you.

I know I sent out dutiful thank you notes as I received our gifts, but I want to express my gratitude once more.  For your presence and your presents.  Many of the gifts we received are a part of our daily lives and I still remember who gave us such-and-such as I whir the food processor, toss the salad and set the table each night.  Other gifts only come out for special occasions and are polished and admired before creating a holiday that is utterly beautiful.

I wonder sometimes if you know how much those gifts mean to us.  When I buy a wedding gift, I scan the registry for my price point, make my selection and forget all about it.  It’s the bride who spends the time painstakingly assembling items that she thinks will make her home lovely, not the actual gift-giver.  And so, in case you have forgotten what you gave us, please know that I have not.

Thank you for your love and for making our home lovely. 

Love,
Rebecca

Miami has been under a deluge of rain for three days straight.  My kiddos are used to plenty of time outdoors, but the constant rain curtailed our activities.  Excepting for one puddle-jumping walk before dinner, we were stuck inside going stir-crazy.

When you can’t beat em, join em.

We decided to make it rain inside!  This was one of our first weather lessons, certainly our first precipitation lesson.  We made a cloud and waited for it to rain.  It was so easy and cost nothing.  Here’s how to do it.

How to Make an Indoor Rain Cloud

1.  Bring a pot of water to a fierce boil.

2.  Prop a metal baking sheet or a pie plate above the pot.  Make sure you have a few inches of space in between so there is space for the cloud.

3.  Place the very hot water on a trivet.  Put a lot of ice in the pan above it.  (You could hold the ice above the pan while it’s boiling for a more dramatic effect, but safety and logistics made that a less appealing option for me.)

4.  Observe the cloud and watch the water accumulate on the pan.  Wait for the drops to fall like rain.

Science Talk with Kids

1.  Notice how when the hot air meets the cold air a cloud is formed.

2.  Notice how the drips need to get bigger and bigger until they finally are so heavy that they drop like rain.  Teach them the term, precipitation.

3.  Draw connections between the little inside cloud and the big rain clouds outside.  Talk about how space is cold and chills the air up high, but how the sun heats up other air.  As much as you can let the children lead the discussion with questions and observations.  Validate everything that they say. 

4.  Observe what is happening to the ice.  Talk about solids, liquids and gasses.  You have all three right there on your table!

5.  Talk about the terms steam, fog and clouds.

5.   Have fun and encourage patience while waiting for the drips.  This will occupy them for at least a half of an hour.

It’s raining in Miami this weekend and my boys have recently fallen head-over-heels for Dr. Seuss.  Here they are reenacting The Cat and the Hat. 

 They want me to leave the house so he’ll show up. 

Should I leave my boys unattended while I go out? 
Now, what should I do? 
Well…
What would YOU do
If your children asked YOU?

My kitchen smells wonderful right now and it’s not because of my cooking.  In fact, I’m afraid to saute the garlic.  It might ruin the ambiance. 

My sister-in-law snipped this gardenia from her bush this morning and gave it to me.  Its scent permeates whatever space it occupies.  I will carry it from room to room with me for as long as it lasts.  At night it will rest on my nightstand where I hope it will enter my dreams.