The holidays are the happiest time of year, but also the most stressful. Most of us don’t have a clue as to the real reason holidays are so stressful. We tend to blame our stress on our procrastination and poor organizational skills. Social media and magazines make it seem like everyone else has it more together. That perspective makes holiday stress seem like a personal failure, compounding bad feelings, and, get this, it’s not even true.
[clickToTweet tweet=”Holiday stress isn’t a personal failure: it’s simply too much work to do in too short a time.” quote=”Holiday stress isn’t a personal failure: it’s simply too much work to do in too short a time.”]
The real reason we get so overwhelmed is that we simply don’t have enough time or money to meet the crazy expectations that the holidays bring. We don’t have an accurate view of how much work the holidays entail. We think we do, but we don’t. By perpetually underestimating the amount of work involved, we spend the entire holiday season playing catch-up and wondering why the work never ends.
Of course, the first step is to get organized, so we might write a list of all we need to do. We don’t want forget anything. But rather than shrinking as items get ticked off the Great Holiday To Do List, it seems to grow! Why is that?
The truth is our Great Holiday To Do List is a monster that nobody, not even Martha Stewart herself, could complete without a staff of helpers.
Our real problem is that we underestimate our workload which inevitably leads to feelings of overwhelm. Here’s an example to give you an eye-opener. Take one thing from The Great Holiday To Do List and count the actual steps it takes to complete it. For example, you might jot, Christmas Cards on your list. That seems to be a single entry, but it’s not. Let me break down the real steps it takes to complete just that one task.
Avoid Holiday Stress by Seeing the Real Work Involved
- Decide on holiday outfits for the family.
- Have children try on clothes to see if they fit.
- Shop for coordinating outfits if they don’t.
- Launder and iron outfits.
- If adults are included you may have to dry-clean some items (Mark that twice for drop off and pick-up.)
- Decide on a location.
- Make an appointment with a photographer. (Extra item if you have to find a coupon.) Or arrange someone to take the picture. (Count all the calls and messages it takes to get everyone together).
- Do the photo shoot.
- Select a picture.
- Select the card design and place order.
- Address all the envelopes.
- Write a message and sign each card.
- Buy stamps.
- Drop them in a mailbox or at the post office.
That one item, Holiday Cards, actually involves at least fourteen different tasks!
When you break down the entries, you realize how much work is involved in a seemingly singular task. The same thing is true for just about every item on your Great Holiday To Do List which means that the list is much longer than it seems on the surface. No wonder it feels like the work never ends!
Knowledge is power, so understanding that you are probably drastically miscalculating the amount of work that needs to be done for the holidays enables you to make better choices. It’s also really important to share this information with your partner and older children, so they can understand what it takes to celebrate in the way that you are used to. Changes need to be made! Everybody needs to slash some items off of their list and delegate others in order to have time to relax and enjoy this magical time of year.
(FYI, before I mention my book, I am legally required to tell you that I would profit from you buying it through this link. Silly, huh?)
In Stress Free Holidays: Bring Back Joy & Peace I have created a master copy of the Great Holiday To Do List that covers the gamut from Thanksgiving to New Year’s. It is pages and pages long. By perusing it, you can get an accurate picture of the effort and energy involved in creating these lovely holidays. The list can be downloaded and printed, so you can customize it to your individual family celebrations. You can also make your own list by breaking down items you think of the same way I broke down holiday cards in the example.
You may choose to forgo the holiday picture card when you realize how much time and effort is involved in pulling it off. You can replace it with ecards or a special social media post to your loved ones, or even just buy a premade box of cards. You may also decide that you love the sending those cards and treasure them as keepsakes, so the effort is well spent. You can cut back in other areas. That’s also a valid choice. The point is to take a little time at the beginning of the season to appreciate all the effort that is involved in creating holiday magic and make deliberate choices about where you will spend your time, money and energy.
This post was proudly featured on Working Mommy Abroad’s Momlife Link Up!
Thanks for link-up at Working Mommy Abroad Rebecca! Love your post, as always your tips are really useful. have shared!
This is a great list and reminder of why it is important to schedule less and enjoy more. One of the fun things we do is to send a crazy family card in the summer …which basically says something fun about summer and to enjoy summer. People look forward to them and our silly card. 🙂
I love the quote at the beginning of the post! SO true. I’ve been pretty good at avoiding holiday strees and I hope I can keep it up haha!
Christmas cards are by far the most stressful part for me, because like you said it’s more than just “send holiday cards”. We also send a family newsletter with ours, just another task to add to the list lol.
Trying to fit too much in and also make everything ‘perfect’ definitely causes much stress! Keeping it simple has been my goal (I don’t always succeed).
IT’s so true….the holidays are SO much work. I love that you break down what goes into something as simple as holiday cards. It definitely puts things into perspective.
Sound tips for maximizing the fun in holidays. Staying at peace when there is so much to get done is a big challenge. These are cool hacks to overcome the overwhelm and enjoy the holiday peacefully. Thank you!!
Yay, Allison!! When we are mindful of holiday stress, we are able to avoid it. I wish you joyful and peaceful holidays!!
Oh Samantha, I’ve been there. I was so excited to have my own little family, but then the holidays transformed into expectations and a lot of work. That was my impetus to write this book. I really hope you pick up a copy, because I think it could really help you have a less stressful holiday season. Take care!!
It’s great that you’ve learned from her mistakes Chantal! Simple is better. It’s so sad how many women kill themselves trying to make everything perfect for their families, and then lose out on the connections and togetherness as a result.
Thanks, Michelle!!! That’s my intention!
Thanks, Kristie! I worked hard on that cover! I’m glad that you are paring down. there is actually an entire chapter in my book devoted to doing just that, and the surprising ways it makes everyone happier!
Thank you, Lauren. I think a lot of women blame themselves for not being able to be perfect, when they are actually completely overwhelmed and going to heroic lengths for others. We need to be gentle with ourselves!
My pleasure, Dawn. I really hope to help women transform their experience of the holidays this year.
My pleasure, Sabrina! It can be a lifesaver.
Thanks, Jennifer! I found it to be quite an eye-opener!
That’s a beautiful insight, Cait! I think it’s a common phenomenon these days, which is why I wrote Stress Free Holidays. I hope you are able to experience more joy and peace this year.
This is a great reminder for me. I tend to have an idealized version of what a “Perfect” Christmas SHOULD look like, and then I’m always disappointed when the real one doesn’t measure up. Time to relax and stop striving for perfection and focus on what really matters.
This is a really good way to avoid some of the stress that comes with all of the chaos of the holidays. It seems so much simpler when you break everything down into steps that need to be taken!
Wow what a great idea to create an actual to do list. Believe me we are always stressed out right before the holidays trying to get everything done. And you are right the reason is that we don’t have a proper list. Thanks so much for sharing this great tip!
Shocking, yet so true! We always underestimate the amount of time needed for all our holidays to-do’s. We put so much pressure on ourselves to live up to all the hype that we lose sight of what’s really important. There is no need to take on more than we can realistically handle. Thanks for the tips!
I LOVE THIS! “Holiday stress isn’t a personal failure: it’s simply too much work to do in too short a time.” Perfect quote. Thanks for bringing awareness to this.
Your ebook cover is beautiful! Everyone seems to have trouble going minimalist for the holidays, but each year I try to cut out one “must do” (like I now make 2 kinds of cookies instead of 5-10). Love your suggestion to involve the fam in deciding what stays and what goes.
Great post. I think this will be very helpful for anyone with a lot on their plate this holiday.
This is a great post! Growing up, my mom was always so stressed during the holidays because she was a working woman and she was trying to fit too much in. Now as an adult, I keep it super simple!
You are so right about my holiday list getting huge. There is so much I want to do, and while we lived further away from family we were able to do more of that. Now that we live closer there are expectations, which only adds to the ever growing list. In a way it makes a dread the holidays.
This was such a lightbulb moment for me! Love the way you link the stress that the holidays bring to the too many expectations that we have (and just how much money and work they involve!)