It can be good to be bad, and sometimes bad advice can turn out to be the best advice. There are some very good reasons for going to bed angry or taking your anger out on others. In fact both of those just might make you a nicer person in the wrong long run. These 5 nuggets of bad advice you should take are real pieces of advice my friends have given me over the years. Some of this advice sounds crazy at first, but once you delve into it, you will be surprised to find some wisdom in what seemed like very bad ideas at first glance.
5 Pieces of Bad Advice You Should Take
1. Take your anger out on others.
This sounds mean at first, but think of the alternative. You spend your day feeling clobbered by strangers who cut you off, say rude things and otherwise behave badly. When you get home, your bottled up anger finds a release with someone you love. Family is supposed to provide a safe shelter where we can let down our guard, but we often end up taking our pent-up frustration out on those dearest to us.
Instead, we should express our anger on the spot, so it doesn’t fester or get misdirected. Don’t get into a road rage battle over this. You must use discretion, but telling someone, “Hey, you cut in line,” or, “How rude!” can be an effective vent (and also may solve the problem). I wouldn’t take it further than that in the interest of safety and civility. Just the act of not letting someone insult you with impunity prevents a build up of rage you don’t want to take home.
2. End Bad Days with Good Sex
“If you’re having a bad day, just have sex with someone!” This golden nugget was given to me back in my single days , by a girlfriend who was very different from me. At first I laughed it off, but later I decided to give it a whirl. Guess what? It really works! Men have long used sex as a mood lifter and stress reliever, so why shouldn’t we? I’m not advocating promiscuity, but orgasms not only feel great, they’re also great for our health. There is scientific evidence to back up our need for the Big O. Orgasms encourage the body to release:
* phenetylamine: a hormone that helps regulate appetite. ORGASMS MAKE YOU SKINNY!
* endorphins: hormones that reduce pain in the body by up to 70%
* seratonin: a hormone that calms and relaxes
* DHEA: a hormone which improves brain function ORGASMS MAKE YOU SMART!, cardiovascular health, fat metabolism and healthier skin ORGASMS MAKE YOU PRETTY!
* oxytocin: the happy, feel good hormone
* immunoglobin A: an antibody which improves the immune system by up to 20%
There you have it. It’s an excellent piece of advice. Next time you’re stressed or upset, grab your partner or yourself (solo has the same effect) and get it on.
3. If you’re sad, drink coffee.
It’s true. This works. My girlfriend used to swear by this mantra during her first year in Seattle. During one dark period I think she existed on lattes alone for three days straight. I learned it myself while working my way through college as our campus barista. Lines were crazy-long during class breaks, but everyone in line was happy in anticipation of their caffeine jolt. I conducted my own coffee experiment and found it to be a wonderful energy booster.
Studies have shown that people who drink 2 cups of coffee a day are happier that those who don’t. Coffee also gives a brief elevation in your metabolism, so you’ll burn calories too. Coffee’s antioxidant qualities have been linked to a reduction in Parkinson’s, diabetes and colon cancer. It’s a small boost, but on a gloomy day it might just give you the lift you need.
4. Go to bed angry.
This tip was given anonymously at my bridal shower. All the guests wrote down marital advise. Someone else wrote the more familiar, Never go to bed angry. We all laughed at the contradiction, so I experimented with both options. For my marriage, angry sleep is usually the best choice. Sometimes an argument has reached its limit and it’s late. Neither one of us is genuinely willing to concede and our tiredness makes matters worse. Rather than hashing it out, a good night’s rest is in order. Although actually falling asleep can be rough, in the fresh morning light passions have cooled. The rest makes both of us more considerate and clear-headed. A compromise, a forgiveness or a simple smooch to just let it go is possible in a way that wasn’t the night before.
5. Wallow in misery.
Sometimes awful things happen to wonderful people and a good old-fashioned pityfest is needed. Rather than being reasonable or optimistic, it feels absolutely delicious to wallow in misery. It’s an indulgence rarely allowed after toddler and teen years. When I was 8 1/2 months pregnant in a blistering Miami summer, I started an I-Feel-Sorry-For-Rebecca-Club and tricked my husband and bestie into joining. The sheer ridiculousness of it brought forth giggles. By giving ourselves permission to feel bad, we usually start to feel better.
If you’ve given or received some good Bad Advice, pass it along for us all in the comments.