Max is 25 months old. His little brain is bursting with ideas and working hard to find language to voice them. Everyday a new word is added to his vocabulary which he repeats over and over again, making it his own. Sentences are formed as surely (and as clumsily) as puzzle pieces are smashed together. Beyond words, his mind finds clever ways of communicating. Gestures and pointing are dramatically complex. He runs and grabs a toy to represent a memory or a connection to something happening in the moment. Books are flung off the bookcase and emphatically opened to the picture which best demonstrates his idea. I listen with a keen mind, trying hard to decipher his code. When I get it right, he beams with pride. I kiss him and tell him how smart he is. He glows and he grows right before my eyes.
With this budding, yet wildly active communication I have learned valuable information. He tells me what is important to him. It could seem trivial to an adult mind, especially when corporate greed is funneling oil into water only hundreds of miles away. But he lives in the here and now. His first thoughts are true and pure. Silly as they may seem, he is carving out an identity for himself. Distinguishing himself as the one, the only, Maximilian Felipe Cofiño.
What’s Important to Max:
1. Trucks.
We must talk about them all day, everyday, especially digger and dump trucks. We point them out on the road, on TV, in books, on the tablecloth. He even found one in an issue of Yoga Journal. He requests a truck lullaby I made up which goes, “All the trucks love Max and Max loves all the trucks. Oh Digger loves Max. Yes, he does.” These words bring him tremendous joy and peace. He just got his first pillow, one with a red truck. He giggles as he rests his head on it and I wonder what his truck-filled dreams look like.
2. Being a Helper
Max sweeps the floor with Mama. Max puts his cup on a coaster. Max hands Mama or Dada a diaper when he needs changing. Max puts his cup and Jack’s bottle in the sink when they are done. Max helps Mama fold the laundry. Max brings Dada his clothes when he is in the shower. Max wraps the cord around the vacuum cleaner. Max puts trash in the garbage can. Max hands Mama the remote control. Max gives Jack his blankie and pacifier when he cries. Max warns us when Jack is getting into trouble. Max shows Tia Lily what to do when she babysits. Max carries the grocery items one at a time for Mama to put away. Max puts his toys away. Max folds the diapers and puts them in the basket. Max picks out a bedtime story for himself and for Jack. Max kneads and rolls the pizza dough with Mama. Max brushes Jack’s tooth. Max puts his dirty clothes in the hamper.
3. His Routine
I try to relax on the couch with my morning coffee, but Max interrupts me by bringing me his toothbrush and toothpaste. It’s time. Max requests lunch at noon. He expects juice after his morning nap and water after his afternoon nap. He is grumpy at 9:30, 2:30 and 7:00, his sleep times. He looks forward to bedtime stories after bath. He sticks his hand out from the crib for a kiss just before I close the nursery door and say good-night. First thing in the morning he runs to snuggle with Dada in bed. He walks around our house with the air not of a prince, but that of a king. He knows his world and he’s thriving in it.
4. His Clothes
Oh, what a good day it is when he can wear a truck shirt, and what an awful night it is if all his truck PJs are dirty. He has 10 pairs of socks, but only wears 3 pairs: 2 with balls, 1 with a boat. Everything has to a have a picture of something he loves. He flaunts his fledgling identity: a boy who loves trucks and balls and choo-choo trains.
5. Twinkles and Blankie
A patch of blue fabric and a gray stuffed animal cat are all he needs to bravely face the world. Child development experts refer to them as “attachment blankets” or “security items”. Such sterile terms! To Max they are friends. Twinkles dances to the music and pretends drinks Mama’s coffee. Blankie manages to get in the folding pile of laundry several times a load, so he is neatly turned into a soft tiny square. I hand Max his origami blankie and he accepts it with the reverence of a Japanese executive exchanging a business card.
6. Family
Mama, Dada and Jack are everything to him. Privacy is a foreign concept. All he wants is us. I used to worry about how he would react to a baby brother so close in age, but he has no sense of deprivation. Instead, Jack is his buddy, already sharing laughs and ganging up on us parents. Every time marriage gets tough, I look at how much he basks in both my husband’s and my presence. We each have such distinct relationships with him, irreplaceable and invaluable. I am so happy we are able to offer him the security of a stable, loving home. And a baby brother to boot!
7. His Ideas
Max is beginning to have opinions and great ideas. He’ll repeat them over and over again until they are acknowledged. It is this shirt he want to wear. He would like to go to the beach or on a walk outside. We should bring a ball. He would like juice, not milk. More fruit, less cheese. At times, it is annoying. At times, it is frustrating. But mostly, it’s exciting. He is learning how to make his ideas heard in the world. He is so like his mama.
8. His Autonomy
This is just starting: the do-it-myself phase. He wants help, but he doesn’t want me to complete the task. He wants to take his shirt off himself even though he can’t quite do it yet. He wants to call Nana on Mama’s phone and hold the phone in his hand. He wants to walk down the stairs with the rail, not Mama’s hand. He is discovering his independence and commanding respect. As always, I will give it to him, Sir Maximilian.
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