You know the saying he’s wise beyond his years?
I think it’s a load of crap.
I can only use that word, crap, because there was a time I bought into it hook, line and sinker. I suffered an early trauma in my childhood and always thought the blessing that came with the curse was early wisdom, one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit.
People often called me wise as a child which bolstered my self-esteem and increased my precociousness. I believed them until I grew up.
As soon as I had my first taste of adulthood, I realized that it is impossible to be wise beyond one’s years. No matter what terrific tragedies or wild life circumstances one encounters, there is no extra shot of wisdom to buffer against the general missteps, misunderstandings, and misapprehensions that come from nothing more than getting older. We all experience heartbreak at the same pace. We all face the disillusionment of our ideals faltering against reality at about the same time. We are all proof and product of our age.
Wisdom comes from a wide perspective and there is no shortcut to gain perspective. The only way to get there is to live through years and years and years. We often compare aging to climbing a mountain. You know, people getting over the hill. Well, no matter how many lions we slay on our path to the top, and no matter how thoughtfully we meditate on the flowers we pass, nothing gives the grand vista of wisdom except trudging upward.
But what about those early traumas or adventures? Surely some of us have lived lives of more substance and experience than typical of our age. Doesn’t that show through in some way? Or what about those calm babies everyone says has an old soul, who become thoughtful children sharing a Zen-like understanding of the world while still counting their age on their fingers?
Amassing experiences and being thoughtful both have the power to make someone an insightful person. There is definitely an overlap between insight and wisdom, but wisdom contains that extra component of perspective that only time can give. This is frustrating to young people who are brimming with insights, inspiration, and knowledge. It can feel exclusionary because they can’t get in yet no matter how hard they try. There is no way to advance more quickly than your peers. The mountain of life must be climbed step by step with no special tram for VIPs leading straight to the top.
But that is also the glory of growing old.
As I enter middle age, I am able to understand so much more than I ever did in my youth. Some of my insights are familiar, ideas I grasped in my twenties, but I now realize didn’t penetrate deep enough back then. They were simply a hint of what was to come. I needed to investigate those ideas, try them on for size, toss them aside, pick them up again to see if they still worked, and then sit with them for a while.
At 39 my mind and spirit abound with energy. They burst with explosions of meaning and connection. The first wash of wisdom wiped my slate clean. I am a beginner again. There is so much to learn! Each crumb of wisdom I collect makes me hungry for more. At the halfway mark, I can almost spy the top. Life is real in a way I could never fully appreciate until it felt finite. It is a brand new adventure! Wisdom cracks opens a world that is utterly fresh and exciting, words normally reserved for youth.
Take heart, young’uns. You too will grow wise if you are lucky enough to have the crinkle of time etch a few marks around the corners your eyes. Isn’t it at least a little bit comforting to know that life never gets to be old hat? That there is something around the bend that you cannot yet see? That wonderful surprises await? That no matter how much our society worships youth, most middle aged people wouldn’t trade the wisdom that comes with wrinkles for the smooth skin and ignorance we once possessed in teems.
Go meditate on the flowers, slay the lions, forge your own path to the top. Never stop climbing.
The vista awaits.
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