Ah, motherhood…
So full of joy, and yet so very lacking in personal time. Mamaguru to the rescue! Here is a simple plan create an amazing spa experience right in your very own home. No need to hire babysitters or squander the grocery budget at a day spa. Follow these tips and in just one day you will be basking in the glow of a pampered woman.
Mama’s Manicure
Begin your spa day at (where else?) the kitchen sink. Use Palmolive Dish Soap to tidy up your family’s breakfast mess. Recall their retro commercial claiming to “soften hands while doing the dishes.” Amazing! In just 10 minutes your dishes will sparkle and your manicure will be half-way complete.
For polish, set up an arts and crafts station for your toddler or preschooler. Allow him or her to practice tracing your hand with markers. In no time flat, you will have an edgy, artistic color treatment on your nails. Volia: manicure.
Mama’s Massage
Lay face down on the carpet in playroom. If you have boys, you will receive a Swedish massage. Simply convince them to run their trucks up and down your back. Create an imaginative narrative about how your body is a mountain and the trucks need to go up and down it. Up and down, up and down.
If you have girls you will be receiving a shiatsu massage. Try to convince them to walk Barbie and her friends up and down your back. You may need to resort to bribery as this is less natural than the boys and trucks. Do not feel guilt. Your children put the tension in your neck; they should help take it out.
Tip your massage therapist generously with milk and cookies.
Mama’s Facial
Make a large pot of pasta for dinner. Right after you drain it in the collander, put your face in the steam. This deep cleanses your pores and prepares your skin for it’s mask treatment.
Just like all the top spas, you too can customize your treatment to match your skin type. If you have dry skin, prepare mashed avocados for your baby. If your skin is oily, prepare oatmeal. If your skin is dull, puree some mangos for a radiance boosting vitamin C facial. Er, I mean, baby’s dinner. Give baby his or her own spoon and sit nearby. Resist your impulse to wipe away baby’s splatters. Instead, massage them into your face.
After dinner give baby a bath. Play with baby and the splashes will gently rinse away your mask. Pat with a towel and my, oh my, your skin is absolutely glowing.
When your little ones are securely tucked in bed, collapse into the nearest piece of soft furniture and relax. Repeat to yourself over and over, There’s no place like home… There’s no place like home… There’s no place like home…
Unless it’s the spa!
Here’s hoping you get a gift certificate pronto.
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