There is a side street in my small town that spans less than a mile. The only stop sign it has is where it ends. It took me two months of driving my kids to school back and forth, back and forth, back and forth (3 times) everyday to find this gem. All the other streets are riddled with red octagons as far as the eye can see.
Two blocks before the end of this street, there is a cross street which is also two blocks from an elementary school and three blocks from an arterial. This is the only street which actually crosses the road I take, because all other streets dead end into it.
Whenever I drive through this cross street, I slow down just a touch and hold my breath. The other drivers are supposed to stop for me, but this is a small town and streets are usually empty. Most drivers only give a half-hearted tap to their brakes, not a full, rolled-back stop. I am cautious because I know even though I have the right of way, I might be blindsided by a crash if anyone is caught unaware. It’s a little bit terrifying to keep going, but there are already enough stop signs in my commute, I can’t add make-believe ones too.
A week ago my aunt died of a neurological disease.
Full stop.
Last night I found out that my friend (since kindergarten)’s mom has been struck by dementia, Parkinson’s or some other terrifying neurological disease that will require extensive caregiving.
Full stop.
My heart reaches out to my cousin and my friend, both of whom are the same age as me. My compassion extends to their mothers, because now that I am also one, I can see the world through their eyes, and it must be so sad to leave one’s children so tragically and so early. And then my mind flies straight across the 3,500 miles that separate my mom from me, and I’m overcome with gratitude for her presence, but also overwhelmed by the pressure of time as it runs down of the hourglass every moment we live apart. I have no idea when empty is coming.
And I think of that intersection I pass many times a day.
It is good to take caution, but impossible to control all the variables that might befall us. Out of nowhere someone could miss the stop, or if I stopped anyway, I could be rear-ended by a driver who didn’t expect imaginary stop signs to be recognized just in case the real ones were not.
It takes a lot of courage to live this life.
Spirit helps. Love helps. Family helps. Friends help. Pets help.
Still, it takes a lot of courage to live full speed ahead when all signs say you are in the clear but you don’t know what’s just out of sight,
and it takes a lot of courage to live when your life has suddenly come to a full stop.
May today, as always, we treat each other with as much kindness as… well, all the kindness in the world.
Let’s treat each other with all the kindness all the time.
Let’s give one another a smile whenever we come to an intersection, whether it’s our turn to stop or go.
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