I Love My Life!

I’ve been wanting to post that as my facebook status for months now, the modern-day equivalent of shouting it from the rooftops.  I’ve resisted the urge not out of a need to appear cool.  Those who know me know that I’ve never been that.  In fact, I gave up trying midway through high school when I realized it was a lost cause.  Coolness is in direct opposition to my passionate nature.  I am up-down, hot-cold, everything-nothing, and right now:

I love my life!

I haven’t posted that yet because a facebook status is too of-the-second to capture the enduring quality of my sentiment.  My joie de vivre is so strong and prolonged that if I posted it, that would be my last and only post.  It is everything.

I love my life!

This is new to me.  Not just because I have experienced some dark times, but because I’m a living, breathing self-improvement project.  My drive to push myself dates back to my pre-verbal days, when I refused to talk until I could speak in full sentences.  As a driven person, I’ve missed the side-long gaze out the window.  I always looked towards my destination, rather than my actual location. 

Nothing puts the brakes on life like motherhood.  In one way, a year goes by so fast: from helpless to walking, from cooing to talking.  But on a moment-to-moment basis, being a mom means life in the slow lane.  At least for me.  My babies have taught me to laugh for the sake of laughing.  It’s fun to giggle, funny too.  I’ve learned to make a big deal out of every detail in the world around us.  If it rains, we stop what we’re doing and take ten minutes to watch puddles pool outside.  Every other Wednesday, we swoop out of our breakfast chairs to catch a glimpse of the recylcling truck passing by our house.  We point to every airplane that flies overhead (and we live near an airport!).  Our slow pace of life gives me time to soak in the scenery, and I like what I see.

Even though my dreams and ambitions continue to out-pace the life I am living, I’m comfortable with them still being out of reach.  I know they are ahead of me, and eventually I will get there.  As I meander towards them, I find myself the annoying mom-driver.  You know, the woman everybody hates to drive behind because I’m going two miles under the speed limit, smiling, lolly-gagging out the window and itching to shout:

I LOVE MY LIFE!