July being Independence month, I have taken it upon myself to free 3/4 of our family from the drudgery of diapers. That’s right: it’s Potty Time!
I made a poster for Max where he gets truck stickers for every attempt to use the toilet. I made them on the 4th of July, and I admit: mama got carried away. The slogans read:
Free yourself from the tyranny of diapers!
Pooping in your pants it SO last year!
Be cool! Be free! Be potty-trained!
Underpants: the New Diapers!
Down with Diapers!
Potty is #1 (and #2, as the case may be).
Hmmm…did I go overboard? It’s been 37 months. Two kids in diapers for 21 of them. I think I’m entitled to a bit of insanity.
Max is three years old and although we dabbled in life without diapers before, it never quite worked. Most experts advise waiting for the child to initiate toilet training. Allow them to lead. That’s what I did, until it became apparent that Max was not planning on going down that road. With a mere three years on the planet, Max has already managed to boot the mule out if it’s place as the symbol of stubbornness. Although there have been moments of excitement over potty chairs, potty books and underpants, being bare-bottomed sparks trepidation in his little heart, so he resists. I didn’t want a bathroom battleground, so I backed off and waited. And waited. And waited.
I’m done.
I have come to the conclusion that just like everything else he’s learned, he needs guidance into this next step. So, that’s it. Today I told him we are done with diapers when he’s awake. I dressed him in adorable underpants, explained the reward system and plopped him on the potty at regular intervals. Andres and I took turns hanging out in the bathroom with him. Jack joined us, of course, so it was quite the potty party in our tiny bathroom.
Today was a four underpants day.
Ah, well, accidents happen. However, my big goal of the day was Max actually peeing on the potty. I want him to have a positive experience on which we can build. Just after dinner, after all my hopes for the day were crushed,
drip. drop.
I couldn’t have been prouder! He got the first piece of candy in his life: a mini m&m. He kept calling it a cookie, it was such a foreign concept. Another few drops in the potty. Another m&m. Another few drops. Another m&m. Although he didn’t master a complete session, he made the connection and started to relax and enjoy the process. When he was in bed an hour later, he told me that he peed in his diaper. A big step towards body awareness.
One of the most difficult aspects of parenting is having ultimate responsibility without ultimately having control. It’s my job to teach Max how to use a toilet, but it’s his body. Just as I couldn’t make him sleep or make him eat, I couldn’t make him pee. Frustrations abound as we try to figure it all out: babies figuring out how to use their bodies and mamas figuring out how to teach babies about their bodies. In the end, all parenting is trial and error. We create the positive environmet for our children to grow, but then it’s up to them:
To see with their eyes. To roll off their tummies. To stand on their feet. To run on their feet. To pick up the spoon. To find their mouth. To form their lips. To speak their words. To create an idea to share.
I am listening, my love, to the beautiful sound of you growing.
Today it was drip, drop.
I celebrate you.
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