Welcome to Week 4 of our Exploring Adult Spirituality Class.

This week’s class is a little bit different than the previous classes, because you will select journal questions based on your current circumstances.  Last week we delved into the family with whom you were raised.  This week we are examining the family we create as adults.  To fully address everyone taking this class, there are three categories of questions: Married and Deeply Committed Couples, Single People, and Parents.  Chose the one or two categories that fit you at this particular moment in life.  Everyone will complete the same activity listed at the bottom of this page.

What I mean by deeply committed couples is either engaged to be married or in a marriage-equivalent gay relationship.  If you are in a serious relationship that has not yet become a lifetime commitment, I recommend answering the single person questions.  This is not to belittle your relationship, but it is important to examine your spirituality and your life as it is today rather than a projection of what it may be in the future.  To find yourself, you must always look in the present moment.  .

Married or Deeply Committed Couples
Partnerships can be wonderful tools or terrible obstacles when it comes to cultivating a strong sense of spirituality.  The most important factor is not who your partner is and what he or she believes, rather it is your ability to accept your partner’s spirituality for what it is.  It can be frustrating, maddening and ultimately heart-wrenching when two people share a love and a life together, but have different spiritual paths.  And yet, even when two people are completely in sync in terms of religion, their spiritual journeys are always separate.  That is because spirituality is an individual experience.  Many aspects of it may be shared and fellowship is key in many people’s spiritual practices, but the nature of faith and belief is that it ebbs and flows.  There are times when spirituality is as effortless as breath, and then something shifts and old doubts, questions and even anger can surface.  Respecting that your partner has a complex spirituality independent from you (whether or not they admit it) can lead to greater understanding, peace and compassion.

That being said, the choice to marry is the choice to share your life completely with someone else.  Although a part of the self will always retain autonomy, marriage is a union.  Your spouse is truly your partner with whom you can explore life.  How wonderful!  When you brush aside the petty and not-so-petty disagreements that arise, you ultimately share a love that is pure, true and divine.  Your knowledge of love comes from your family and central to that is your partner.  Even if you don’t talk about spirituality often, your relationship has taught you the fierceness, determination, compassion, gentleness, passion, honesty, complexity and simplicity of love.  If love is the foundation of the universe, think about how much your spouse has taught you about life, simply by loving you and standing next to you.   

Journal Questions
What does your partner believe?  Answer without asking him or her first.

Are you sure?  Sometimes we have beliefs and questions we never utter to ourselves, let alone another person.  Find a quiet, casual time to listen to your partner without judgement or thoughts of how their beliefs affect you.  Ruminate over your spouse’s beliefs.  You love this person deeply and have chosen them as a life partner; their ideas are extremely important and can be illuminating even if their personality seems less serious.

What are the similarities and what are the differences between your beliefs?

If you shifted your spiritual practices, how would that affect your partner?  How would if affect his or her family?

Is there a way to be true to your heart and your love?  

If not, think more deeply.  These two things should be aligned.  Perhaps time could help.

 Single People
Single people have an amazing advantage when exploring their spirituality, because spirituality is essentially an individual experience.  You have the ability to focus on your own heart without having to factor in a partner’s beliefs which can be both distracting and side-tracking.  Cultivating a strong spirituality before you commit your life to someone else enables you to choose a better partner and retain your core beliefs within the context of any new relationship.  Of course not everybody wants to be married, and even if that is your goal, it is important to see yourself as whole, rather than half of a person looking for completion.  This week’s questions are related to the family we create as adults, so the questions are mostly related to finding a partner.  Sometimes people put on a false face when they are single because they don’t want to appear desperate, less-than or someone to be pityed.  It is quite possible to be both content in life and hopeful for someone share it with.  Accepting that duality can lead you to greater honesty, self-acceptance and understanding.  

Journal Questions
Quick right down your gut response to this question: Do you lack love in your life right now?

If you do, could you fill that gap yourself? 

Could God?

If you don’t, explain who in your life fills you with love.  And how.

Do you believe meeting a partner is the result of fate, luck or timing?

In what way (if any) does God factor into that?

How important is it to find a partner who shares a similar spirituality?  Could religion lead you to someone?  Could it drive you away from someone?

Being single gives you freedom and the ability to spend your time as you see fit.  Now is an excellent time to explore different spiritual practices.  If you are drawn to any extreme religious or spiritual experiences, this may be the best time of your life to explore them.  If you long to mediate in an ashram in India or go on a religious pilgrimage to the Holy Lands or even devote many hours a day to prayer and meditation this time of individuality is your opportunity for a radical religious adventure.  Write down any and all daydreams you have about spiritual adventures.  Keep this list at the forefront of your mind and see what happens. 

For Parents and Potential Parents
The love you have for your children is probably the closest example of Divine love that you will ever experience.  You create them, nurture them and love them more than you ever thought possible.  These days parenting is complicated and parents are overloaded with choices they must make for our children.  To vaccinate or not?  Public, private or home school?  How many activities?  Which ones?  To top it all off, it is your responsibility to guide your child’s budding spirituality.  You are the one who must explain God, life and religion to your child.  It is normal to feel woefully inadequate for this task, but it is vital that you don’t neglect it.  Culture is very powerful and teaches us lessons about life whether or not we are aware of it.  It is impossible for a child to be completely shielded from all messages from society, so as a parent you must provide some degree of spiritual guidance.  Your participation in this class indicates two things: you value spirituality and you understand it is an ongoing process.  It is OK if you can’t answer all of your child’s questions about life, so please don’t make the mistake of waiting until you figure everything out before you begin teaching your child.  These questions are designed to help you solidify a few of your core beliefs and to encourage you to consider the ramifications of religion in your child’s life.

If you don’t have children you can still answer some these questions, but be forewarned: having an actual child radically changes most people’s pre-conception perceptions of parenting.  Be open to new ideas when a child enters your life.

Journal Questions
What values or ideas does your child need to live a meaningful, happy life?

Are you actively teaching your child those lessons now, or are their holes which need to be filled?

What beliefs and traditions have you already exposed your child to?

If he or she is verbal, ask them to explain God or draw a picture of God.

Would a change in your spiritual practices be confusing or ostracizing to your child, or can it be done gracefully?

Many childhood milestones are marked by religious ceremonies and traditions.  If you are considering changing your religion, how will it feel for your child to miss those ceremonies?  Consider you child’s feelings, your co-parent’s feelings and all the grandparent’s feelings.

Both parents must be on the same page about what to teach your child even if you are presenting multiple faith options.  No question here.  Have a frank conversation about what and how you will teach your child about spirituality.  Don’t let it get heated.  Find a compromise if needed.

Week 4 Activity for Everyone

1.  Because this week’s journal questions may be extensive for some participants and they involve having serious discussions, you only have one activity this week: nourish someone you love.   This person needs to be someone you consider a part of your created family.  It can be a spouse, a lover, a dear friend or a child.  Choose one meal this week to cook for this person.  Make sure the menu is both delicious and healthy, but it needn’t be elaborate.  While you prepare the meal keep your beloved at the forefront of your mind.  Think of all the good wishes you have for this person and project them into the food you are cooking.  Nourishment happens on many levels, so who is to say the love you put into their food won’t reach every cell of their being?  Keep this a secret.  Let it be a private blessing of love and nourishment.

As always, you can contact me at rebecca@mamaguru.com.  I have enjoyed answering several of your questions and hearing about your journey.  You can also comment below if you wish to share something with others.  Have a beautiful week. 
Namaste,
Rebecca

Welcome to the second week of our Exploring Adult Spirituality Course.  If you are just joining us, please start at the beginning.

This week is going to be very different than last week.  Exploring your childhood involves memory and sometimes nostalgia.  There is also a bit of detachment when you write about your past because you are no longer that person.  When you were a child, you didn’t have much control.  Life happened to you, rather than by you.  As an adult you now have the power to make choices and shape your life into a reflection of your values.  This control was something you grew into and worked hard to get, but as you know, it also comes with an enormous responsibility.  At the end of a day, at the end of life, the meaning and happiness you have is a result of the way you chose to live.

You may find this week’s journal questions startlingly direct.  In our society we tend to dodge questions and hedge our answers about spirituality for the sake of politeness and the appearance of being non-judgemental.  There is nothing wrong with that, but at some point everyone must own what they believe.  If you never say it out loud, how can you possibly live it?  

Answer each question fully as it comes.  No skipping or darting ahead.  As a reminder, don’t get hung up on the language of my questions.  The word, God, is used a lot this week, but don’t be put off if you have a different image of divinity.  Tap into your understanding of the universe to interpret the questions in terms which are relatable to you. 

Week 2 Journal Questions: Current Beliefs

Quick: answer this yes or no, only yes or no, do you believe in God?

Define and describe God.  Some people see God as a male, female or otherworldly spirit.  Others see God as a collective conciousness or presence.  Challenge yourself to answer this with something other than, “I don’t know.”  That is a stock response, even though it is truthful.  Write what you believe.  It is OK to have contradictions in your description.

Is it important to you to have an explanation as to the beginning of time?  Why?

Is it important to you to have an explanation as to what happens after death?  Why?

Children must take a great deal of knowledge from authority figures.  Adults have fully developed reason and are naturally inquisitive and skeptical.  We still look for authoritative sources, but there is a choice in whether or not we believe them.  As an adult, can you accept an authoritative answer to the previous two questions without reservation?

What questions would you ask God if you could?  These questions should be genuine and relatively personal.  What, specifically, would you like to know to help you live a happier, more meaningful life?

Now, answer those questions yourself.  Again, “I don’t know,” is a cop out.

Are your answers good? 

Are they good enough? 

Would any answer be good enough?

Is your present idea of God drastically different from your childhood idea of God?  If so, what is the change?  When did this happen?  If not, what are the similarities?  What are the differences?

Week 2 Activities

1.  Set a timer and spend five minutes in front of the mirror without any make-up.  Rather than examining your pores, stare into your own eyes.  What do you see?  Who is that person?  Years can go by when we never get a good look at who we are.  Mirrors are usually places where we prejudge ourselves before going out in the world to face judgement.  Not today.  Take five minutes  to see who you are underneath the mask of presentation.

2.  Step outside of your life for some quiet time this week.  A spot in nature is ideal, but you can go to cafe you don’t usually frequent.  The point is to step outside of your daily routine.  Look at the world around you and take some time to connect with that energy.  Now look back at your life from the vantage point of an outsider.  What does your life look like from this perspective?  Do you like what you see?  Does it feel like you?

If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to contact me at rebecca@mamaguru.com.  Have a beautiful week.  Namaste,
Rebecca

Welcome to the first week of our Exploring Adult Spirituality Class! 

This is a free, 6 week, online class created to help you explore your spiritual beliefs and how they connect to your past, your family, and who you are today.  People of all beliefs are warmly welcomed.  If you haven’t seen our preview, I encourage you to do so in order to have a better understanding of this class.

Course Guidelines

1.  Each week we will explore a different theme and you will be given questions to answer in a journal.  Please set aside an hour or more to do this.  This is not like algebra where quick, correct answers are the goal.  Go beyond the glib response to what really matters.  Allowing yourself time and space to answer these open-ended questions will help you access the more thoughtful parts of your mind.  Also, the ritual of setting aside a specific time each week to take the class will have its own benefit and meaning.  These classes will be posted on Sunday mornings, but you can choose whatever time works best for you.  I do recommend consistency.

2.  Take each question as it comes, rather than perusing the list for what looks interesting.  The questions have been arranged in a specific sequence to build upon or challenge earlier answers.  It’s important to capture your initial gut response as well as your more thoughtful answer.  Please feel free to go off on tangents.  These questions are designed to get you thinking, but they will not tell you what to think.  Perhaps a tangent holds an important memory or insight.  Go with it, but then return and answer all the questions posed.

3. The journal questions should be written by hand in a journal or notebook set aside for this purpose.  Writing is a different verb than typing.  The process of moving your hand across a page helps you access deeper levels of thought.  Also, detaching from electronics and media will help you ground yourself in the present moment, an essential aspect of spirituality.  There is an easy-print button at the bottom of this page, so you can take the questions with you.

4.  Answer every question even if you feel you don’t know the answer.  Nobody will see your responses, so feel free to be wrong.  Just be something.  Write down what you think is the truth.   

5.  After you have answered this week’s questions, let them sit in the back of your mind throughout the week.  Your subconscious is a very powerful tool, so let it work on these grand problems while you live your life.  On Saturday return to your journal and read your previous answers.  Expand upon your thoughts, or jot down new insights or questions that popped up during the week.

6.  If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at rebecca@mamaguru.com.  I will respond to all questions, and I will answer whatever I can. 

7.  Please don’t get caught up on any semantics.  This class is designed to deepen and enrich people with very different beliefs.  Using language that incorporates every person’s particular faith or practice is impossible.  The words God, universe, religion and spiritual practice are all used interchangably.  Please don’t get caught up on the details of the words, and miss the meaning behind them.

Exploring Adult Spirituality: Childhood

Who we are today is partially a result of who we were yesterday.  This week we’re travelling back in time to access our first thoughts about God and the meaning of life.  We often think of spirituality as primarily an adult journey, but children have an active and inquisitive spiritual life.  They try to make sense of the world on a daily basis.  Once they can identify that the sky is blue, they start to ask why it’s blue? And who made the sky?  And how did they make it?  And why, again.  Children are eager to understand this brave new world they’re exploring.  Remembering your early ideas about God and life may connect you to a core belief you have long discarded.

We’re also trying to identify a time when your spirituality changed.  There may have been a specific event, or over time your spiritual life may have paled in comparison to other concerns.  Look back to that change with the lens of memory and with the fresh eyes of an adult.  See what you couldn’t see before.  Understanding what happened will help you understand why it happened.

This week it is particularly important to let these questions ruminate in the back of your mind, because we are recalling childhood.  Memory is a tricky thing, like a refection in a pool of water.  If you grasp it too quickly, the image will blur and you’ll see nothing.  Be patient and things will slowly come into focus. 

OK, here’s the teacher speaking, “Please answer all your questions in as complete an answer as you can.  The more you put in, the more you’ll get out of this.”  Classic school instructions still hold true.  I wonder what else does?

Week 1 Journal Questions: Childhood 

What would the five year old version of you have colored if asked to draw God?

Describe your image of God when you were ten.

When you were fifteen.

When you were twenty.

In what (if any) religious practices did your family participate?  How did you feel about it?

As a child what were your private ideas about God and life?

Describe a person from your childhood whose spirituality made a strong impression on you.

Was religion a source of happiness, stability, confusion, control, or fear for you while growing up?  Was that constant or did it change at some point?

Did religion give you a sense of belonging, or a sense of exclusion as a child?

Questioning beliefs is a part of growing up.  What were your questions?  Did anything specific happen to trigger them?

Did those questions ever get answered?  If so, how?  If not, are they still your questions today?

Week 1 Activities

Look through old photos or journals to help you recall your past ideas at some point this week.

Ignite your memory through your senses by playing old music, cooking a dish from your childhood, or stopping by a fragrance counter for a whiff of a familiar scent.

Revel in the past with as little judgement and sentimentality as you can muster.  I know it’s a fine line, but find it.  Balance on it. 

Have a beautiful week.
Namaste,
Rebecca

Our FREE 6 week course, Exploring Adult Spirituality, begins September 12.  I hope you join us.  Please tell your friends about it.  Here’s a little preview: